Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel , "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land."
Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land."
Today, Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land! I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc . . . I called a Suicide Hotline. I had to press 1 for English. I was then connected to a call center in Pakistan . I told them I was suicidal. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck . . .
Posted by: coldheartgraphix 2015-08-24
... A good old Alabama boy won a bass boat in a raffle drawing.
He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says,
"What you gonna do with that?! There ain't no water deep enough to float a boat within 100 miles of here."
He says, "I won it and I'm a-gonna keep it."
His brother came over to visit several days later. He sees
the wife and asks where his brother is.
She says, "He's out there in his bass boat", pointing to the field behind the house.
The brother heads out behind the house and sees his brother in the middle of a big field sitting in a bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand .
He yells out to him, "What are you doin'?"
His brother replies, "I'm fishin'. What does it look like I'm a doin'?"
His brother yells, "It's people like you that give people from Alabama a bad name, makin' everybody think we're stupid. If
I could swim, I'd come out there and whip your ass!"
Posted by: coldheartgraphix 2015-08-12
thank you very much !
Posted by: f.j.h. 2015-08-09
Three sisters age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.
One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts her foot in and pauses.
She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see."
She starts up the stairs and pauses, then she yells,
"Was I going up the stairs or coming down?"
The 92 year old was sitting at the kitchen table having tea
listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says,
"I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks
on wood for good measure. She then yells,
"I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see
who's at the door."
Posted by: coldheartgraphix 2015-08-07
As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any naked woman,
Other than his wife, and if he does, he must commit suicide.
So next Saturday at 1 P.M. Eastern Time, ALL American women
Are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help
Weed out any neighborhood terrorists....
(Circling your block for 1 hour is recommended for this anti-terrorism effort.)
All patriotic men ARE to position themselves in lawn chairs with coolers,
in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women
And to PROVE... that they are not Muslim terrorist sympathizers.
Since Islam also does NOT approve of alcohol, a cold 30-pack
of beer at your side is FURTHER proof of your patriotism.
God Bless America!!
Posted by: coldheartgraphix 2015-07-27
Things are going pretty good. Job's doing well. Parts driver is going to out for the summer due to a back injury (uh huh). He did look in pain when I saw him on his Harley. lmao So they asked if I would fill in for the mornings and detail cars in the afternoon. for 40 hrs, hell yea. Well, now I'm delivering till its all gone. lol I love it. The more I drive the happier I am. Well until friday anyway. The horsetrack in Saratoga opens Fri. The volume of cars and people is almost unbearable until August. Rich out of towners with attitudes. lol Theyre talking about getting rid 1 of the detailers. He's been dropping the ball lately. Managers aarent happy. If they do I'll get $1 more an hr. and his time slot for mon. thru fri.Thats been the plan since I was hired. I was told this twice in confidence by 2 people.
Had do some work on the car. replaced all the front brakes and new hubs as well. Had a sensor go bad, naturally had to replace everything being all's 1 unit now. At least I know it's all sound now. lol
Hope all is well with you. love the tint on the car. looks great. In N.y. we cant have it that dark on the drivers or passenger windows. 70% of the light has to be able to pass thru. and they do enforce it.
Hope all's going well with you.
Posted by: coldheartgraphix 2015-07-22
An Amish Farmer walking through his field notices a man
Drinking from his pond with his hand.
The Amish Farmer shouts: "Trinken Sie nicht das Wasser,
Die Khe und die Schweine haben hineingeschissen!"
Which means: "Don't drink the water, the cows and pigs have shit in it!"
The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand your gibberish.
Speak English, Infidel!"
The Amish Farmer shouts back in English: "Use two hands, you'll get more!"
Posted by: coldheartgraphix 2015-07-22
After a long day on the golf course, I stopped
in at Hooter's to see some friends and have
some hot Wings and iced tea.
After being there for a while, one of my friends
asked me which waitress I would like to be stuck
in an elevator with.
I told them "The one who knows how to fix elevators".
Rained here all day. lol Doing good tho. Had some video projects I got caught up on. So kept busy for the most part. lol
Really looking forward to the new job. Got a real good feeling about this place.
Hope you have a relaxing night and a great week.
Posted by: coldheartgraphix 2015-06-28
I'm hoping it's the right move. Liked how things went when I was there the last time. Everyone seemed laid back. This place makes the other dealership look like a joke. So much better organized in so many way's. Job description is pretty much cast in stone. Pay is above average compared to the norm of other dealerships around here.
I was interview by a co. who's expanding into Ny. Carpet cleaning co. Wont know anything more for a week or 2 but that would be worth changing for. Interview was a panel of 3. Lasted almost 1 1/2 hrs. Would be greaat money with ALOT of room for advancement.
Posted by: coldheartgraphix 2015-06-27
Cool looking Parrot
Except for the fact, if you look closely, It's really a woman in some intense body paint.
Things are going alot better here. Heard from the airline I was suppose to work for. The Albany hub got shut down by the FAA. Maybe that was a blessing in disquise.
Took a couple of b.s. delivery jobs. Hrs sucked and so did the pay, but I couldnt sit and wait for something doing nothing. Wasn't even a question of money, I was just bored.
Do have a new full time job starting on the 8th. I cant wait, got the best of both worlds. Another car dealership. had 1 f/t position running the parts dept. I could have done it but I would have needed training. However they still had 2 p/t time positions. 1 for driving cars to and from other dealerships and the 2nd was for detailing cars. Loved the interview and it went well. I should be in sales. lmao Got him to combine the 2 for me. Drive in the mornings, detail in the afternoon. Some of the drives could b 8 hrs alone. and I love to drive.
They do have 1 detailer they want to get rid of. If things go well for me and they get rid of him, I'll get $1 more an hr. and take his time slot. but I'll probably have to stop the driving aspect. and if that work's they'll move me into the flat rate detailers position. There I can make some real money. Really looking forward to it. Loved everything I saw about the place when I got the grand tour.
I still have something cookin in the fire too. Wont know more about that for another week or 2. But all is good.
Hope things are still going well for you.
Posted by: coldheartgraphix 2015-06-27
Hey Trish. I'm hanging in there. Things here have really gone sideways on me. Left 1 job for another. Was suppose to leave for Ohio tomorrow for orientation/training. Got a call yesterday saying "all operations are suspended until further notice." oh joy. Still on the list for the position but next training session isnt for another month. Can't go back to the old job. ... ... Somethings gotta give soon. lol
Posted by: coldheartgraphix 2015-06-13
GERMAN SHEPHERD STARTS CHASING RABBITS AND BEFORE LONG, DISCOVERS
THAT HE'S LOST. WANDERING ABOUT, HE NOTICES A PANTHER HEADING RAPIDLY
IN HIS DIRECTION WITH THE INTENTION OF HAVING LUNCH.
THE OLD GERMAN SHEPHERD THINKS, "OH, OH! I'M IN DEEP SHIT NOW!"
NOTICING SOME BONES ON THE GROUND CLOSE BY, HE IMMEDIATELY SETTLES
DOWN TO CHEW ON THE BONES WITH HIS BACK TO THE APPROACHING CAT. JUST
AS THE PANTHER IS ABOUT TO LEAP, THE OLD GERMAN SHEPHERD EXCLAIMS
LOUDLY, "BOY, THAT WAS ONE DELICIOUS PANTHER! I WONDER IF THERE ARE ANY MORE
HEARING THIS, THE YOUNG PANTHER HALTS HIS ATTACK IN MID-STRIKE, A
LOOK OF TERROR COMES OVER HIM AND HE SLINKS AWAY INTO THE TREES.
WHEW!" SAYS THE PANTHER, "THAT WAS CLOSE! THAT OLD GERMAN SHEPHERD
NEARLY HAD ME!"
MEANWHILE, A SQUIRREL WHO HAD BEEN WATCHING THE WHOLE SCENE FROM A
NEARBY TREE FIGURES HE CAN PUT THIS KNOWLEDGE TO GOOD USE AND TRADE
IT FOR PROTECTION FROM THE PANTHER. SO, OFF HE GOES.
THE SQUIRREL SOON CATCHES UP WITH THE PANTHER, SPILLS THE BEANS AND
STRIKES A DEAL FOR HIMSELF WITH THE PANTHER.
THE YOUNG PANTHER IS FURIOUS AT BEING MADE A FOOL OF AND SAYS, "HERE,
SQUIRREL, HOP ON MY BACK AND SEE WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO THAT
NOW, THE OLD GERMAN SHEPHERD SEES THE PANTHER COMING WITH THE
SQUIRREL ON HIS BACK AND THINKS, "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW?"
BUT INSTEAD OF RUNNING, THE DOG SITS DOWN WITH HIS BACK TO HIS ATTACKERS,
PRETENDING HE HASN'T SEEN THEM YET, AND JUST WHEN THEY GET CLOSE
ENOUGH TO HEAR, THE OLD GERMAN SHEPHERD SAYS, "WHERE'S THAT SQUIRREL?
I SENT HIM OFF AN HOUR AGO TO BRING ME ANOTHER PANTHER!"
Posted by: coldheartgraphix 2015-05-07
Glad to hear the job's working out. I learned about Steel when learning to weld and my dad worked for a steel co. for year's. There's alot to it.
Spent all day cleaning and detailing car's. Not a bad day, plus o/t. My co worker had an attitude today and I wasn't having it. Sent her to work on her own. Made it worse was when the boss and office manager agreed. No biggy to me but no rain on my parade. lol
Hoping to do some driving tomorrow, depends on what they did at todays auction.
Take care my friend. Hope things continue to go well for you.
Posted by: coldheartgraphix 2015-05-06
Well, ya see, it's like this.
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
Hope all is going well for you my friend. Still doing the O/T thing here. lol Had a 16 hr day Thursday. Last minute had to get a car to New Hampshire. At $18.50 an hr, you bet I'll drive for 8 hr's. Hope I don't work up a sweat. lol This was after I prepped the showroom, did the janitorial stuff, and detailed 2 car's. and it's all good.
Owner planned a trip for us, all employee's. He's taking us to a Red Sox game at the end of the month. Renting a tour bus to get us there. Breakfast will be served before we leave. Buses will be stocked with beverages and food for the trip and stop for a steak dinner on the way home.
Yes, I like my job. lol
Posted by: coldheartgraphix 2015-05-02
This is the ZR1 I got to drive the other day.
Posted by: coldheartgraphix 2015-04-18
Rofl, not really Grumpy at all. lol
Well warmed up some and melted the snow and ice. NOW it's cold again. Nothing say's spring like snowflakes and sleet. lol and to think racing start's in 2 week's. Not putting the longJohn's away yet.
Had an interesting afternoon. Was told I was driving to Conn., assumed to pick a car up from auction. NOPE, they had 5 cars sold the paperwork for ea. had to be there by the end of today. However, girls in the office ran out of forms. Had to wait for them to be delivered before I could leave. lol So I had 2 hrs to complete a 2 1/2 hr trip .... and did it. lmao On the Mass. Pike that's an accomplishment. lol Got to drive a 2015 Subaru BRZ. I love this car. only 200 h.p. but a ton of fun to drive. Had 5 miles on it when I left, had over 500 when I got back. At 18.50 an hr for O/T, which mostly requires driving, no problem doing the O/T. rofl
Posted by: coldheartgraphix 2015-04-09
Lately I come home from work and just fall asleep. lol Alot of driving to auctions and other dealership's. It's all good though and I love the o/t.
Finally getting some warm weather and the snow melting. Won't b much longer and racing fishing will be in order. lol All ready for both.
Hope all is well with you my friend.
Posted by: coldheartgraphix 2015-04-02
Hey Trish. Sorry it's been a while. Been a hectic few week's at the job. Driving to and from auctions in Mass. and Conn. for almost a week straight. Not a bad way to spend your day. lol Now we have a detailer who's going to be out for a couple of week's due to surgery. Was asked if I wanted to help fill in. Yes, I could have said no with no repercussion's. Told him I never did it. Show me how and by someone who can show and tell me, I'd give it a try. After my 3rd car. they said I was good to go it alone. New cars are easy. Used cars are a snot. lol Today me and my coworker knocked out 12 cars in 8 hrs. AND had time for our lunch. Isn't like that everyday. Just alot of sales today. lol
Raced on the ice a few week's ago. The modified class. Basically a Sprint Car set up for the ice. 500 hp. Started 18th out of 24. Finished 4th. Not bad for being the 1st time in 2 year's. lol Had alot fun but man was it cold. Which has been brutal this year. hit 29 degree's today. Felt like summer it really did. week's of below zero and the windchill was brutal.
Only problem with the job. Being I volunteered to fill in, I'm doing 6 day work week's for the next 2 - 3 weeks. It's a drain until I think of all the o/t I'm getting. This week is around 12 hrs of O/T. I'll be smiling come thursday. lol
Hope all is well with you and things are going well with your job.
Posted by: coldheartgraphix 2015-02-28
I wish you a good and amusing Sunday my dear friend .
They have a ranch north of here that has rodeo's on the weekends during the summer. never been to 1. was thinking of checking it out this year.
The cold has been brutal with windchills hitting -25. Cold I can handle. but the wind actually hurts in that cold. I just layer up and deal with it. lol Mass. and other coastal areas have gottem slammed with snow. 6 ft of snow in 2 day's. Thats alot of snow.
Gotta work this weekend. will spend tomorrow prepping the showroom, the spent the rest of the day gassing up the GMC's in preparation for snow removal of the lot on monday. That part I'm tired of. lol Clean off all the cars, move em all, plow the lot, move all the cars back in a row. We all do it, not just me. Still takes a good 5 hrs. It's going good tho. really happy with it.
Posted by: coldheartgraphix 2015-02-13
Hey Trish, Hope all is well with you. The cold here is just unbearable. Especially when you have to work in it.
Long day today. Had to help drive a car to the auction ... in Conn. lol There's a day in itself. Not a bad way to make a buck. lol
Had to pick up a car from a local auction the other day. It was made quite clear that I was to drive the BMW and no one else. I'm low man on the pole too. That kind of made some waves but I must be doing something right. omg what a georgious ride that was.
Hope all's going well with you myfriend.
Posted by: coldheartgraphix 2015-02-13