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elijah_gohl1
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"I am truely blessed and really thank God for giving me my very own loving Family. I thank Him for giving a handsome,cute, and very funny litttle boy and also for giving me a husband that is ,loving,kind, and my one and only clown..
Thanks honey for being so good to me..tho' sometimes i am mean to you but still you keep on trying to put back the smile on my face..I love you so much..mwaaahhh
"
28 years old
Views: 2216
Last Login: 5/22/2007
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Gary Valenciano - Take Me Out Of The Dark
Just what is it in me?
Sometimes I just dont know
What keeps me in Your love,
Why you never let me go
And though youre in me now,
I fall and hurt you still
My Lord, please show me how
To know just how you feel
You have forgiven me
Too many times it seems
I feel Im not what you might call
A worthy Christian after all
And though I love You so
Temptation finds its way to me
Teach me to trust in You
With all my heart
To lean not on my own understanding
I just forget
You wont give me what I cant bear
Take me out of the dark, my Lord
I dont wanna be there
Youve never left my side
You gave Your hand to me to hold
Oh Jesus, Im no longer in the cold
And yet, I leave You there
When I feel satisfied
Id like to thank You every day
Not only when I feel that way
Ive never known a Man
Whod give His life for sinners like me
And yet, because He loves us so
Hes promised us eternity
And we can have that promise
And be His if we have faith
And just believe
Teach us to trust in you
With all my heart
To lean not on my own understanding
We just forget
You wont give us what we cant bear
Take us out of the dark, My Lord
Cause we dont want to be alone
Take me out of the dark, My Lord
We dont wanna be there, My Lord
Trust in You with all my heart
Lean not on my own understanding
I just forget
You wont give me what I cant bear
Take me out of the dark, My Lord
Cause we dont want to be alone
Take me out of the dark, My Lord
I dont want to be there
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ALL ABOUT ME |
I am a person, a lady , a wife, and a mother of one handsome boy..
MY INTEREST IN LIFE
i Love to sing and play my guitar..when i was in school, everytime i felt so depressed and dont know what to do..i will just get my guitar and start singing my favorite song..after that, i felt so relief and so okay...
it is my sponsor who give that guitar to me as a gift..hehehe they know that i love to have my own guitar..so they get one for me..thanks to them..
i love watching tv too..hehe not english ha..my teleserye sa abs-cbn..hmm my day wont be complete kong di nako ma tan aw ang sunod na nahitabo sa salida..well that is already part of my day...
i love shopping too...hahahaha i think all women likes that...and i think that my hubby had an inkling that i like to shop too, coz he'll suprised me sometimes with a discover giftcard worth 100 dollars and with the message..honey, ilove you and have fun shopping this sunday..and of course ako smile abot sa akong donggan..sometimes he'll got home from work and give me a chocolates with money and said you'll go shopping this weekened and i'll take care of the baby.or sometimes hell got home with my favorite banana split from sonic and money to shop ..yeah,he is that sweet...well, he'll just do that when he saw me staying at the house for how many weeks..mogawas lang kong mopalit ug groceries and things for the bb..didnt really go to the mall and buy something for myself...kinsa man ganahan mo shopping na subra ka init sa gawas..to the point na pwede naka mag preto ug itlog sa kalsada...but when the weather and the temperature is good..i'll go shopping alone by myself... but mostly i'll go with one of my closest friend here in texas rowena..
I love playing computer games with my husband too..we used to play world of warcraft and it's really a cool games..i always have fun everytime we played it together..
i loved to play sequence and of course i have to play it with my hubby..it is a board games using a cards..it's so fun specially when you give a consequences to the player that lose.
i love to play with my baby too..i used to play hide and seek with him, and now he likes to ride on my shoulder and want me to run...it's really fun...
hmmm what else..gym is not in my vocabulary.. but i do like to walk with my husband and my baby..just go to the park and have a family picnic...
i think that's all...
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click my pic below to see how i sound like when i sing..nyahahaha ayaw panaway ha.. |
audio:janine123's audio
by janine123
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My New web page |
www.janinegohl.bravejournal.com
see you all there..mwaaahh |
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THE STORY OF MY LIFE... |
It's so hard when you lost one of the most important person in your life,its so hard when you lost the person you loved,and its really hard when you lost your father...
it's still fresh in my mind until now, i was 9 years old that time..it was early in in the morning, i was still in my deep sleep when i heared a commotion..one of my brother said " our father is here". I jump from the bed with full of joy in my heart thinking that my father came home alive,totally recoverd from his sickness, but when i look at the door, i saw a four men carrying a coffin walking towards our house..
Here is my story before that happen...I am what they called a PAPA"S GIRL.Yes, I kindly agree that i loved my father more than i loved my mother..tho' my father always spanked me because of my naughtiness but still i loved him so dearly.
out of 10 siblings, it is me who always want to sleep in the bed where my father and mother sleep..i always want to be with my father..i always want to go wherever he goes..i dont care if i cant go to school, all i want is to be with my father.seomtimes when my father planned to go some place, he'll try his best not to tell me coz i will really cry to death if he wont bring me with him..but heheh i was so clever i know that he will leave coz i saw my mom packed some clothes for him. so that night before i sleep i make sure that my father is already asleep and tied his dirty shirt that i was wearing to the shirt that he was wearing that night..so when he wake up , he'll wake me up too..and it did work...he woke me up when he tried to get himself out from the bed..(unsaon la man sya kabalo na ako siay gibangan akong shirt sa iyang shirt so pagbarug niya hapit noon ko natagak sa kama..so, naka mata ko). and of course my father couldnt resist me..he asked my mom to packed some of my things and of course koyog na pud ko ni papa...lipay kaau ko as in..
But i know, he is not happy thinking that i am not going to school k cge ra man ko koyog niya bisan asa..I remember him telling me that if i got a school award, he'll buy me a new clothes,new shoes, he'll buy me my favorite ice cream..he will give me anything i want..and of course it triggers me to go to school and study but it will just last for few days..the urge of being with my father is thicker than my feeling of being in school..
i had a lot of fun with my father, thats why i always wanna be with him..when were at home, we'll sing together..my heart was full of joy with everytime i'd heared his bariton voice. it sounds really good and he plays the guitar so well too..i really think he is a good singer.it is my father too who taught us how to sing...but the one thing i like with my father is when he start telling us a story..hmmm he is a good story teller..really..he know how to make up story and it really entertained us..so, before we eat our dinner, while my mother is cooking at the kitchen all of us are sitting in front of our father,listening his story very attentively..boy! if you just hear my father telling a story it feels like real..with all the changing voices and face expression we really think that is cool..sometimes my friends will come to our house just to hear my father's story..that is one of the good moment i remembered with my father..
one time my father got sick..he'd gone through a mild stroke i dont know if it is mild, all i remember is, the docotr ask him not to work for how many weeks until he is fully recovered..that is the first time i experienced how hard the life is when my father got sick and cant work..it is only my father who is working for the family..he is the only one who puts money to our house..i remember the time when we even dont have enough money to buy food for us and medicine for my father...i also remember the time when we gently kneel our knees to pray and ask help from God..and God did make His way to help us.
That time our town fiesta was approaching and before the day of the fiesta they always have a singing contest for the kids and for the adult..they called it 1001 singing amatuer contest..My father asked us to join..without any hesitation, my older sister manang pres,joined the adult category and me, my younger sister joan, and manang darah we joined the kids category...it's still in my mind the the song which joan sing it is "sabi ko na nga ba", manang darah sing " Nag mula sa Lupa" and I sing "ITAY" which was composed by my father..It is also my father who accompanied us with his guitar..he cant work yes, but he can walk so he is able to play his guitar for us..I still remember when i sing the song that was composed by my father "ITAY", i saw the eyes of the judges with tears..it is really a sad song and everytime i sing that song while i play my guitar it also makes me cry..later on, all the contestant are done singing and the result was soon to be announced..i was so nervouse and really pray that we won..and with the help of God we did won..whether you believed it or not the three of us won..i won the first prized with 100 pesos in cash and baloons, joan won the 2nd prize with 75 pesos in cash and ballons too, and my sister darah won the 3rd prized with 50 pesos in cash and ballons too. Not only that my older sister won in the adult category too..100 pesos that time is really big..you can already buy a sack of rice out of 100 pesos..that's how cheap things are in the past...My father is so happy..we're able to buy a sacks of rice and we still have enough money to buy a medicine for my father..it was an awesome feeling too, thinking that i helped my family..that contest did help us a lot until my father was fully recovered and be able to work again...but its not the last time that father got sick..it was just the first..
The second time around, i was 7 years old that time, my father was confined in the hospital with a big wound in his back..he was diabetic so that make things worst..he was very ill that i think he might die..i stopped my study and be with him in the hospital..i just want to be with my father..so i stayed there and accompanied him..hmmm somtimes i sing songs to him, sometimes, he told me some stories, but most of the time i just saw him sleeping..our life became messirable since my father got sick..i dont know how we get through that time but we did..and of course with the help of God..He send us people to help us..sometimes people that we even dont know.i witnessed how my mother do her best just to find money for my fathers medicine.the worst thing is she was carrying my younger brother in her little tummy..yes.she is pregnant..but still she is working and do her best for us until she deliver the baby...the delivery is fine, the baby is healthy inspite of those stress and headache that mother was experienced that time.. she did do a good job...hey friends my father didnt die that time..thankfully he got recovered and be able to go home and spent time with us..his life cmae back to normal and he is able to work again..
after a couple of years like two years my father was sick again another wound in his feet that makes him not walk. so we need to go to the hospital..hmm i think its not worst..coz i can see that its not that worst than the second time he was confined in the hospital...but still that time the doctor ask him to stay in the hospital with the reason that i dont know..but i am not worried that much.my father look good and he dont look like he's about to die.unlike the feeling i had the second time he was sick..i am so scared that time..i really think i'm gonna lost my father...
so i stayed in the hospital again and the second time i stop my study..well they cant forced me to go to school...all i want is to be with my father..and i can tell that my father likes it too having me with him in the hospital..that time we talked a lot with my father...its weird when he always ask me to sing a song to him..and he tells stories of him leaving us.he said he will go to some place far away from us.and i told him that when that time came, i wanna go with him...i still remember that my father always told me to take care of my mother when he was gone..and my reply is? ( si papa no di man gani ka kabangon sa higdaanan mo biya na noon ka namo unsaon man nimo paglakaw beh?unya unsaon man nako pag atiman ni mama na mokoyog man ko nimo) so innocent huh?but still my father keeps on telling me that same word.."please ivy take care of your mom when i'm gone" and i always have the same answer to him..he is not gonna leave us coz he cant walk..
i'd stayed with him in the hospital for how many weeks and i always heared those weird word from him..and it will lead me to think with the same point..He is gonna leave..but i dont understand how he'd gonna leave us..he cant walk and he cant go anywhere..and if he'd some place i am sure i'll go with him..but well, i didnt waste my time thinking that very confusing statement of my father..i just need to make sure that when that time came that he leave i need to be there so that i can go with him..( in ana ko ka koyog baboy sa akong papa sauna)..
one friday afternoon,my father was still on his wheelchair when i asked a permission to him if i can go back to our house and play with my friends..i told him that i promised to be back sunday morning..i just missed my friends and been longing to play and just be with another environtment..He didnt say yes instead he said " If you go today you wont see me anymore"..hmm i just laugh at him and said "( si papa no yaga yagaon..ngano di naman daw ko kita nimo..asa man daw ka mo adto..usa pa la pa gani ka maau di paka kalakaw..) so without my fathers permission i go home..i am so happy to see my friends and of course dula dayon...That night, before i went to bed i saw my sisters try to decorate our house..they put a white blanket to our wall..i asked my sister why they do that..i am waiting for an answer but she didnt say anything..so i just think maybe they just want to cover the hole that was on our wall..I went to bed and was fall into a deep sleep..
early morning i was awakened by a commution and some murmur...i heared my sister asked (kong coming na ba daw akong papa) will i am half awake and half still sleep that i dont really understand what she mean..i know my father is still in the hospital..he was there when i leaved him..i did saw him sleep on his bed before i leaved..so i am sure he is in the hospital. i was in that thought , until one of my brother announced that our father is here..I jump out from the bed..i am so happy thinking that my father is coming home..in my mind he is still alive and was fully recovered..but, i prove myself wrong when i looked at the door and saw the four men coming carrying my father's coffin...i told myself its not my father inside, but again i'm wrong when i saw my father face looks like he is in his deep sleep in that brownish coffin that was carried by four men..i dont know what to do..i saw my mother, my bro and sis cried..i cant believed that my father is dead and i am not there with him in the last moment of his life..i am so sad and was really hurt..i had a lot of things in my mind...i am mad becuase they didnt called me and tell me that my father is dying...i am mad of myself too because i leaved in the hospital and didnt listen to my father ..but i cant turn back the time..my father is already dead and i cant accept it.i just stayed in our window sit there and cried..
we bring his dead body to bohol..before he died my mother said that my father told her that he want to be burried in the place where his father and mother was burried too..so we bring him there and plan to burry him there..
we spent how many nights mourning and do the things they called (bilar)..my younger brother is like 2 years old that time and will soon to be 3..it hurt my heart so bad everytime he went to the coffin and try to wake my father up coz its time for dinner.lunch or breakfast..and i always saw and heared him asking my mom why our father was in a cabinet as what he said and nganu daw na dili na mokaon si papa...my mother told him that my father is gone but he dont understand that..he still try his best to wake my father up...i huggged him and told him that our father is already dead..he is in his deep sleep forever..
time came when it time for us to bring our father to his last place..the very last time we saw our father.. before that we made a little ceremony or program..for the last time i was able to sing a song for my father.. i sing the song that he'd composed..but the situation is so defferent..i didnt see my father smilling at me..i didnt see him nodding his head telling me that i sing the song good, instead i saw him in his coffin sleeping and i dont know if he'd hear me singing him a song..i sing the song with all the tears in my eyes..i saw the people around me, they are crying too...
The program end and we bring him to his tomb.., and again i heared my younger brother ask my mom..( nganu daw gisulod si papa sa lain na aparador..ngitngit daw didto kaau la suga) my mother just cry and hugged him tight..he really dont have any idea what just had happen..
we came to our house the next day..the house is so very quite, so lonely,our hearts are still mourning for my fathers death...and everytime i am sitting in our window looking at the sea i wshed sometimes i will saw my father a live..but i know it is impossible..sometimes i asked God why he took my father away from us..i dont know what's our life will gonna be now that our father is gone...
but God has a plan...now i know why he took my father away from me..now i realized that His promises are true when he said ALL THING WILL WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD FOR THOSE WHO LOVED HIM..
the journey of my life without my father had begun when i realized and really accept that my father is gone..
href="http://www.bolt.com/janine123/audio/1838327" > audio:janine123's audio
by janine123
click my picture to hear the song that was composed by my father..hehehe ayaw panaway k super ka hangin akong tingog..well, mautro man lagi ni atong tingog kong magkadako ta..but anyway i just want you to hear the song...
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